Excess Baggage

           My coordinator went straight to my mom about cross culture. I had been inactive in my service for a while and one reason why I gave my ‘yes’ was so that I wouldn’t disappoint my parents and coordinators. I also saw this trip as an opportunity for me to escape and kind of take the 

time away to sort my problems out.

The week before the mission really tested me because of all the technical difficulties that I faced with my visa. However, God answered all of those one by one. Two days before my flight, I got my UAE visa and was able to apply for my UAE ID as well. The night of my flight, my major problem was actually the excess baggage. Going to Singapore, my baggage allowance was 30kgs but leaving Singapore, it was only 20kgs. It took me at least 4 hours to pack trying to make sure that I leave Singapore without having to worry about excess baggage. I decided to leave so many things behind no matter how difficult it was. I think from that moment on, God was already trying to tell me something.

Every single day, I worried about my excess baggage, thinking how I was going to get rid of my stuff. Towards the end of the mission it got me thinking that similarly, I went to this trip with a lot more emotional baggage that I hoped to get rid of:

The past year has been very difficult for me. MY plans didn’t go accordingly and I got disappointed in so many ways. I responded rather poorly to the new situation that I was put in so I rebelled. I got myself into the wrong crowd – drinking, smoking, skipping classes and even getting into a misleading relationship. I knew what I was getting myself into but I did all of it anyway. I went against my principles and worst of all, I felt like I betrayed my parents’ trust. Throughout that whole time I was angry. I separated from the people who could have helped me because I was ashamed of what I have become. I felt so alone. I saw that Cross Culture was that big opportunity that I had to escape, find myself, correct my mistakes – the chance to change.

From the moment I arrived, God affirmed me that He won’t leave me and that He has never. Day by day, he tackled even the smallest of problems that I had and showed me that I am not alone in the struggle that I am facing.

“Fear is good because it is when we fear that we learn to trust God more. When we fear we become nothing and God is made greater. Wejust have to make sure that our fear doesn’t paralyze us.” After all the planning that I made, change was so difficult to accept. I was scared of the unknown. Hearing this made me realize that God has a perfect plan for me. What is there to doubt? I just have to trust Him.

“Forgive yourself. We can be so terrible because we punish ourselves while God doesn’t.” After the mistakes that I’ve made, I found it so difficult to get up. I was ashamed of what I’ve done and I felt so unworthy. The sad part was that instead of choosing to make myself worthy I sulked because I couldn’t forgive myself. During this mission, I began to pray again and I guess I started talking and listening to God more. Slowly, I learned to admit to have fallen and realized that I can’t deny to myself the pain that I felt. I can’t deny to myself that I tried to distract myself from that pain by rebelling. I am weak and I need God’s grace to pick myself up. I need to forgive myself and accept the help of God. After so long, I finally feel peaceful. I’ve learned to forgive myself and surrendered to God the hardships that I went through.

“My grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in your weakness.”  2Cor12:9. I was given the chance to give a talk in a youth camp. I have always found “Who is Jesus Christ to Me?” the most difficult talk in the youth camp. It’s so amazing because during this trip, I needed to find Christ. I delivered the talk on my last day in Singapore and with confidence in my God, I stood in front of 44 youths of a culture different to what I was used to. It was like testifying to them and sharing to them how big my God is and how He worked wonders during this mission trip. After the difficult time that I had and the pain that I went through, I could proudly say to them that God is my strength.

I still kept praying hard about my excess baggage. Until the moment when I was standing in front of the counter I kept telling myself “..for my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” I put my luggage on the belt and closed my eyes and just stayed still. I opened my eyes after a few seconds and looked at the scale: 19.2 kgs. I was unable to hold it in and I just had to say “Praise the Lord!” He made my burdens light.

Hazel dancing it light! :)

- Hazel Colleen Gamboa, YFC UAE

These are the full transcript of the sharings of some of the YFC UAE who joined the YFC Cross Culture in Singapore last June.  Related article from our website