I'm Sorry

We didn't get along from the start
I would demand this...
She would explain why it isn't possible

I would compare her to others
She would explain why
and bargain for a substitute, instead

I thought I got tired from continuously trying to capture her attention

We didn't jive, it's just that

And then after so many years of always asking
instead of seeking
So many years of listing what's lacking
instead of appreciating
Years littered with frustration
from lack of affirmation

At the right time
in God's perfect time
it just came
and then I understood

it's this thing called love
and love has varying languages
then I realized
love cannot be boxed
love cannot be demanded according to one person's standards
it can only be appreciated
it can be questioned so it can be better understood
but not condemned
it can only be sought
but you can never question its existence

when I confirmed everything
I appreciated better
and reciprocated more

Nanay, I love you
All those years I never understood
I failed to appreciate
All those years I thought differently
I failed to give
All those years I compared
I failed to recognize
All those years I demanded
I  failed to be thankful

Nanay, I love you
Now, I know better
the difference in language matters
Yours was service
Mine was time
Yours was prayer
Mine was touch
And for failing so it clearly
I'm sorry

Nanay,  I love you
Let me make it up to you
Nanay, I love you
I know, appreciate, believe, am convicted, and confident
that you do love me
The language may be different
but the core is the same
The language may vary
but the message is universal

Nanay,  I love you
Happy Mother's Day to you
And I pray for more years to be with you.

So I seek God in prayer
offering everything
and asking for nothing but love
in return.

By Sis Cheche Espinosa
SFC Mission Volunteer